I have written a version of this with my group members. Howver, I do not like it

I have written a version of this with my group members. Howver, I do not like it very much and would like 4 pages of it to be redone and ravamped to be a greater paper. The paper is about a \”supposed\” documentary me and my group have created about the overconsumption of the colorado basin. Please refer to some of the readings or documentaries I will share. Please make greater ideas than what we presented. thank you.
NOTE: PLEASE REFER TO BIBLIOGRAPHY FOR SOURCES USED.
B) Field Research Essay on the 20-minute environmental documentary – 30%
Technical Requirements:
i) You will continue to work and collaborate with your group members and deepen your research;
ii) page length:
YUELI Students: 1,000–1,250 words maximum length ( + images and appendices);
Non-YUELI Students: 1250–1500 words maximum length ( + images and appendices).
iii) include images where desired (original photographs, short video, drawings/sketches, collages, water colours, etc.)
iii) use proper academic citation: include a filmography and a bibliography;
iv) number your pages;
v) double-space your writing;
vi) use a 12-pt. font.

Formal Requirements:
In this essay, students will develop the main aspects of their proposed documentary with an introduction, body and conclusion. You will need to consider the following in each:
1) Introduction: (5-7 sentences max.)
i) In your introduction introduce your specific topic in a sentence or two.
ii) State the main question of this documentary. You should have developed and refined this question further, beyond what you had in your initial research proposal.
iii) State your perspective or point of view on this main question. (In a sentence state what your specific argument or point of view on the topic is. What is your take on it? Be persuasive.)
iv) Outline your three supporting arguments for the main question above. (One or two sentences.)

2) Body of Essay – methodology and some formal considerations:
Elaborate and develop your environmental topic and explain why you chose it. Why was it important for you/your group to select this particular topic for your 20-minute environmental documentary? Elaborate and develop your argument (your stated point of view) introduced in the introduction above. Elaborate and develop your three supporting arguments by interweaving the following elements into the body of your essay. (Make sure that you explicitly discuss and examine relevant elements of the course contents, including the readings, documentaries and lectures in your field-research essay. You must be informed and able to interweave issues taken up in the readings, documentaries and lectures within the context of your own documentary production.)
A: Ethics
i) Indicate who your audiences will be. (Other students, environmentalists, mainstream public, non-governmental organizations, academics, who?)
ii) Who are you and what do you do? Why have you/your group decided to make this environmental doc and what are you trying to achieve with it? Locate your voice, agency and power in the relations among yourselves and the issues you’re taking up.
iii) Are you speaking for yourself and your own concerns, or are you speaking about the concerns of others/another group? Are you representing yourselves and your issues, or are you representing others/other issues?
Explain and elaborate: will you be representing your locality (are you/group participating in the narrative personally on an environmental issue?) Or, will you/group be representing another group? What are some ethical concerns around voice, agency, power and authority that you anticipate? What measures have you taken to safe guard your documentary against allegations of misrepresentation of other groups/people and environmental issues?

B: Agents/interviewees/environmental organization:
i) Include a descriiption of the issue you will be taking up and who is the main interviewee/ persons/environmental organization you will interview. State their names and position that they occupy, and/or the organization’s name. (Include their contact information in an appendix below);
ii) Who are the secondary people you will interview? Why have they been selected? State their names and positions. (Include their contact information in an appendix below).
iii) Elaborate on why you will be interviewing these people/organization. Why does the audience need to know who they are, and why they are important for your doc.?
iv) On the other hand, if you and your group are the main participants in an environmental project, include your names and your concerns.
v) If you have no interviewees, and your documentary is a visual essay, explain and elaborate the details of your approach to the doc.

C: Questions:
i) What will your questions for this individual/people/environmental group be? List 5 well-developed questions.
ii) What are the anticipated responses? What will your follow-up questions be? List 3-5.
Illuminate the reader of your essay (your TA) as to why you have selected these particular questions. How and in which way will these questions, and their responses, be of interest to audiences?

D: Location scouting:
i) Location scouting: what locations have you scouted and will be using in your interviews and supplementary visuals? (Indoor/outdoor, office/warehouse/kitchen/backyard/park/etc.)

E: Mode of filmmaking:
i) What mode of filmmaking will you be utilizing? Participatory, expository, observational, poetic, reflexive etc. Explain and expand why you/your group has made this choice.

F: Representational Style:
i) Which representational style will you use? Realist, experimental, ironic etc? Explain why you have chosen this representational style and how will it add to the visual elements of your narrative.

G: Images:
i) Present 5-10 images (original images are preferred but, if necessary, you may utilize other sources) to provide a glimpse into the visual landscape of the film you are developing.

3) Conclusion:
The body of your field research will have contextualized your environmental documentary in relation to the course materials (documentaries, readings and lectures). In the conclusion, synthesize what you have learned from making your own environmental documentary in relation to the environmental documentaries screened in this course.
(In the next three months you will have gained substantial insight into documentary making processes and styles through the course materials. Incorporate these insights into your essay on making your 20-minute environmental documentary. In your conclusion you/your group should synthesize what you have read and learned in the course about documentary production with your own documentary production.)

4) Bibliography:
Use at least 5 reading sources from the course syllabus to draw upon and elaborate within the context of your essay above;
You may also use 3-5 non-academic sources such as reputable newspaper articles, magazines or web searches;
Make sure you use footnotes/endnotes/embedded notes whenever you cite from any of these sources;
Make sure you cite all your sources, including images.

5) Filmography:
Make sure you cite at least 3 films listed in the course syllabus for reference, comparison or inspiration;
You may also use 2-3 environmental docs not included in the course syllabus;
Reference the films in your footnotes/endnotes, and again, in a proper filmography.

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